From puberty to menopause

And suddenly thrown into pregnancy! (can you tell where I am in the notes journey?)

Progress with studying is so-so these few days, only because I haven’t had rehearsals (except for Tuesday night). Repro is surprisingly much easier to digest and understand than endocrine, BRRRR.

This time around, I’ve become severely dependant on coffeecoffeecoffee to sustain my wakefulness and studying capacity. Discovered how badly I’m dependant when I missed my morning coffee (and rushed to CSU late) today… By 1pm my head was nodding in lecture. Got my fix as soon as lecture ended.

Had the first IMU Ball 2010 meeting today with didi & the rest of the committee… Things seem great, everyone looks enthusiastic and responsible. :) Let’s hope this is maintained throughout our time together as a team. Convo mag seems alright too, albeit a little relaxed now because of the exam period.

I’m glad all the external events are over, and I can just settle into my corner in the library and study study study. Missed that. :)

…looks like I’m still a nerd at heart. xx

PARTY COME NOVEMBER 26, from PM TO AM!!!

Mr & Mrs Charles, 7/11

Dearest Alice & Chee Wee,

You are both an amazing couple, and I wish you nothing but the utmost joy and blessing in your new life together! I’m so glad you guys invited and included me into your celebration. Don’t think I would have ever seen the sides of you that were revealed in various events leading up to and even in the wedding. :)))

Don’t forget Ps. Chandran’s advice, hahaha!

<3 May your new life become even more beautiful with time, as you grow together in the Lord.

Take it easy

Hi, readers. Today’s blogpost is a rant about what I’ve been thinking about for the past couple of weeks. It’s been a while. It will be depressing, sorry.

I’ve been so stressed about studying with whatever time I get that I’ve been neglecting reading my Bible and hanging out, like really hanging out instead of having my mind and body in different places all the time. Today I semi-hung-out and semi-studied with Minny at Wong Kok, SS2. I’ve missed that.

Not to mention the difficulties I’m facing with trying to break out from thinking too much about my character in the Christmas musical… Minny, you diagnosed me correctly. And like I said, why have you never told me all these years?? Haha. <3

I noticed that I stopped singing in the shower, or even just plain singing a while back.

My throat still hurts and I’m still phlegmy. How to sing this Saturday?

On a good note, though, I counted and I have 51 notes left to read, with a total of 20 days… so an average of 3 notes per day should let me finish in time, with a few days to spare to do PBLs and a partial second round (which I desperately need for endocrine–I can’t remember anything that I studied in the beginning, i.e. adrenals & all the diagnostic tests).

And thennnnn I’m gonna try not to think about how I can’t go for the YA camp that I was really pumped-up about going for but can’t now because of rehearsals throughout the weekend and to add insult to injury the NST peoples can go for their camp in December–at least part of it. :((((((( Boo.

And the many other things that I’ve had to forgo because of musical practices, like the mobile clinic. And Adrian’s birthday. And various other birthday dinners and outings with my uni friends. And the list goes on…

Sometimes I feel like I’m married to this controlling beast of a musical which doesn’t want me to have a life outside of the show. It’s really hard to focus on the bigger plan because of all the smaller things along the way that demand immediate attention.

Yes, this is my current struggle, with all due honesty. I’m neither 100% at practices, studying, nor 100% anywhere else. My mind runs ahead of me to the next activity, the next meeting, the next job on the list, whatever it may be. Everything’s an appointment, scheduled in to my neat little Starbucks planner.

I guess this is almost like a public apology to all my friends whom I’ve had to push aside because of plain busyness with activities. I may do things/go out with you, but never truly spend time to get to know you, or ask about your day, or how your life is going. I’m really sorry…

Really sorry.

October is a Busy Month

Stuff has been hurtling along non-stop since the 1st of October kicked in.

Every week, there’s something on!

Not to say it hasn’t been fun, but there’s this nagging little voice in the back of my head that keeps telling me to study. D-day, this time around, sneaks closer on the 26th of November… About a month and a half from today.

In between all the busyness, I read two books–go me! One was William Sutcliffe’s Whatever Makes You Happy, a modern twist on mum-hood and all the joys it brings when your boys are aged 30, non-communicative with the home, and still single. The other was Alice Sebold’s The Lovely Bones, this award-winning novel that is apparently being made into a movie (this seems like the current trend with award-winning books). Gives some interesting notions about what heaven’s like. I’ve started Mitch Albom’s The Five People You Meet in Heaven, which again happens to talk about another view of heaven. There’re three more unread books waiting on my shelf–all these are the result of my birthday Borders and MPH vouchers. :)

My only me-time so far has been when the evening’s preparations for the next day are over, and it’s time for my nightly shower. Been experimenting with scented oils, burners, and strategically-placed tealights to afford more ambience for my humble little bathroom. Only response evoked was a digruntled “What is that smell?” from my mother in the next room.

Umm. Alright.

Yesterday.

I made a commitment to be open to full-time missions work wherever and whenever He may choose to call me. The pastor was a visiting pastor, and he and his wife had been extensively involved with ministering to Asia, namely with OMF. After he spoke, Ps. Chew opened the altar to anyone who had felt God’s call in their life to do full-time missions work so the elders could pray for them. 

I wasn’t sure if I’d ever gotten a true true call from God, but it was something that resonated with me. I’d never wanted to end up stuck in an air-conditioned cubicle in some swanky hospital, treating people who could probably get better the next day if they’d just slept in and drank a lot of water. 

There was this sinking, scary feeling as I walked out. It eventually made me cry when the visiting pastor’s wife, Elizabeth, prayed for me. I don’t know what I’m getting into, but I’m getting into You. It’s like jumping into a rollercoaster cart blindfolded and being locked in. I know I’ll be safe, but what the heck is gonna happen? Help me with my unbelief.

Just thought I’d share.

In the meantime, this pre-doctor is going back to gruelling cheerleading practices, for which the competition is this Friday. Toodles!

Music is my life

When I enjoy what I do, the audience does too. :)

This weekend has been absolutely nuts in terms of practice and preparation, but so very worth it. :) This is just a shortie before I head to bed… need to be up at 7am tomorrow for make-up, warm-up, and sound-check. Oh! And dimsum too. :D

Never need more than that

September marks the middle of autumn. It’s been a strange two weeks since classes began. Apologies for the lack of updates, I haven’t felt any need or drive to do so… Though I have done a lot.

I present to you, Half Life by Imogen Heap, off of her latest album, Ellipse.

My latest obsession.

I knew that I’d get like this again
That’s why I try to keep at bay
Be a hundred percent when I’m with you and then
The perfect heart’s length away

The stickler is you’ve played not one beat wrong
You never promised me anything
Even sat me down and warned me just how they fall
I knew the odds were I’d never win

Yet here I am

It’s a half life
With you as my quarterback
A daft life

My self-worth measured in text back tempo
It’s been two days and 8 minutes too slow
Well there may well be others but I still like to pretend
That I’m the one you really want to grow old with

Got a schedule to stick to, got a world to keep sweet
You’re so much to everyone all the time
Will you ever slow down? Will I ever come first?
The universe contracts to sigh

It’s a half life
With you as my quarterback
A daft life

Hold me, hold me, hold me
Darling, please

You know you’ll never be lonely, no you’ll always be loved
And maybe you never need more than that
But for the surplus that loves, what’s to become of us?
Does it even register on your conscience?

Long for one last showdown from a box in a crowd
Air compressed tight to explode
I’m clenching my ticket to the only way out
As you disappear in a puff of smoke

It’s a half life
With you as my quarterback
A daft life

Broken Hallelujah

Lord, what is in it that my heart constantly cries out to you?

In my times of need and loneliness, all my (wo)man-made “escape routes” shut down and malfunction. You are indeed a jealous God, always wanting me to return to Your side.

I am but human–I’ve failed so many times in the opportunities and tests that have cropped up in my journey, not even thinking to ask You to reach out and pull me through. Time and time again, my own strength is so insufficient, yet I constantly forget my weakness.

This voice You’ve given me breaks out into song each time I am at a loss with present circumstance. Your songs and Your words run through my head, pounding out rhythm and melody into music which I cannot express. David’s sorrow resonates with me.

May You seal my mouth each time a hurtful thing wants to emerge. Prevent the cycle of wounding. Dry my eyes. Hold my tongue. Paralyze me.

For all I wish to do is give my life in worship to You. Let every single thing I undertake be an act of worship, rising as the sweetest incense to Your courts.

Love me, O Lord, and help me with my unbelief…

The clock ticks.

And I’m out of time!

Sorry for not blogging at all… I’ve been tied up with my electives (hospital attachment) since the 3rd of August.

They’re from 9am to 5pm Monday to Friday, and I usually end up being exhausted at the end of the day, where I either go to the gym or go for a swim to clear my mind and then sleep, or have cell group, or have musical practice, or have some sort of family dinner… or… and the list goes on.

Ermm. HAPPY 28TH ANNIVERSARY TO MY MUMMY AND DADDY! :) Celebrated with them today, got them matching bunny keychains.

There goes another night.

For the sake of accountability, I must really sit down and
i) Finish the Draco house emblem draft
ii) Plan the IMU cup Scrabble competition
iii) Get performers for Noise & Movement on 3rd September
iv) Practice with PUS for the art festival opening
v) Practice for the M209 orientation dresscode stint
vi) Memorize Christmas musical script and songs
vii) Plan batch trip
viii) HOMGZ I FORGOT: WRITE THE ELECTIVE REPORT AAAAHHH!!!

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Happy birthday to me!

As of the 8th of August, 2009, 11.10pm, I am officially 21! :D

Celebrated my coming-of-age-of-sorts with a whole horde of family and friends.

Will blog soon about it. Super tired and recovering.

THANKS TO EVERYONE FOR THE BIRTHDAY WISHES!! :D I am so happy. So very loved and happy. xx

Say it somehow, I will understand

The Light in the Piazza, a Tony Award-winning musical by Adam Guettal, is my latest obsession. It’s the story of a fragile and tender love, set in Italy. Clara Johnson (Katie Clarke) and Fabrizzio Nacarrelli (Aaron Lazar), two fragile yet intense characters, sing of their love in this chillingly beautiful duet, “Say it Somehow”. Language barrier aside, the two fight to speak to each other what their hearts are bursting with.

Makes one wonder how anyone can write like this. The harmonies without words, soul to soul, heart to heart, the desperation and urgency… Too bad I’m not caucasian, and neither am I blonde–won’t be able to play this role if ever the chance passes by, which itself is another distant dream. BUT OH, HOW I WOULD LOVE TO SING HER ROLE. The music is so haunting and gorgeous… Unlike other musicals I’ve listened to before.

I should go back into vocal lessons. But most teachers here are classical… :( Broadway please!

Black Lychee Tea

…is what I’m drinking as I sit in front of my laptop, mind in a drug-induced haze. I love this particular flavor of tea because it has a cloying, sweet smell of lychee, yet the solid, strong taste of black tea. Good enough to drink on its own.

Forgotten what it’s like being sick for a while, now. Of all times for it to come remind me. I have little to no appetite. Can’t enjoy tea fully because I can’t smell.

Umm, what’s the point of this blogpost?

Let’s see…

Prep for The Color of Passion is going well. Finished shopping for decor last Monday, finished making invites by last Wednesday, finalized the location and catering today. :)

Hair is done.

Cake is not.

Can’t sing because my throat frickin hurts.

Yes yes yes I’m grumpy. So sue me. >(

Trying to organize an acoustic jam & open mic on the 14th of August as another IMU Music & Performance Club activity, seriously haven’t had the mood to make a poster and do shameless promo across the batch blogs. Keep your eyes open and ears tuned for Acoustic August. 

A ton of Draco House stuff to do.. just opened my email and saw it all. D: Why does it all have to come when we’re on holidays? I wish they’d just stuck to the batch system… It was easier and seriously, more fun because we “grew up” from day one of uni with those people. Well, whatever it is, I honestly hope the IMU Cup won’t be a flop. :/

My little breath of fresh air are the X’mas musical practices every Thursday night and Sunday afternoon. :) Things I love, people I love, for a God I love.

Please keep me in prayers… I know I should find my joy in the Lord! AAArgh!! Sorry for being grumpy. :((((

Karaoke Blues

You know, I wonder if when I’m old and cranky, I’ll be one of those well-rounded, elderly people who dress up and go to karaoke joints and sing off-tune hit songs of eras past with my equally old and cranky friends. And then expound musical wisdom to unsuspecting young’uns who have appeared in the territory.

I guess it’s warm and heartening to those people to gather together, but I really hope I don’t end up that way. Doesn’t resonate with me. It all seems so small and insignificant, like grasping at big, colorful straws. So vain.

I’d rather swing dance.
Be in a (good) community choir.
Workshop the performing arts with young hopefuls.
Swelter in the villages of Africa in my modest clinic.
Have kids who entertain me.
Travel.

I want to do something bigger with my life.

I want to rule the world.

Viva la vida!

Squishables

HOMAHGAWWWWDDD.

ROOSTER.

RACCOON.

GET ME ONE. PLZ.

BIRTHDAY COMING! HINT, HINT, HINT!!!

These things make me weak at the knees.

Michael, you suck, big time.

Missions Day-trip @ Kg. Chinggong, Tanjung Malim

WARNING! V.L.P (Very Long Post)!!! — the first of many catchup posts.

Remember the last time I wrote about a mobile clinic day-trip to an orang asli village? Well, I went on another of these trips with my cell group, Jars of Clay. These trips are part of an introduction to missions project (GO 101) in my church, SIBKL.

 

JOC: Dinner at the end of the missions day-trip.

However, the fact that it was two days after my EOS (end-of-semester finals) prevented my involvement in prior planning and briefings; this resulted in a certain university student waking up at 6 a.m. on the 4th of July, a Saturday morning, drenched in exam fatigue, not knowing what exactly she was headed into.

It has been exactly two weeks since I went on this missions day-trip to the orang asli village, Kampung Chinggong (sp?), at Tanjung Malim. It was very different from the mobile clinic trip that I went on before, in the sense that there was no medical aspect, and we were just going to socialize, network, befriend… whatever you want to call it. Timeframe was 6 a.m. until 6 p.m.

I felt a little very lost and hesitant.

Apologies

Big update post coming.

I HAVE BEEN SO LAZY! Hahaha.

A lot has happened. :)

Stay tuned, love you all.