[ r i n . a i j y o ] – flavor of life, love, and all that you dream of

Looking back on many things that have transpired in my life, I can say I’ve really changed a lot–for the better in some ways, and lost aspects of myself in other ways.

When you’re aware of the things you’ve done over the years, it either makes you cringe or laugh. I do a little of both. But at the same time, the things that make you cringe are things you wished you never did, because they had a lasting effect on people you loved (or still love). 

With your mouth, you can speak LIFE or DEATH.

I choose to speak life, and all its accessory words. Whatever hurts I’ve caused in the past, I wish to address now, and halt what could potentially be a cycle of pain, suffering, and more hurts. Hurting people hurt others. The truest adage I’ve ever heard, and something that took a while to sink in.

God has really been teaching me a lot–and I daresay it isn’t all fun and smiles. Sometimes the realizations and understandings, the little “Eureka!” moments? They turn into quiet, gray, somber times where one just wants to reflect, ponder, and sit alone in front of a pulsing screen, wordlessly typing out the barrage of thoughts avalanching into their mind. 

I’ve grown quieter and calmer. Less of those “hyperriffic glee” moments that seemed to strike every other minute or so during my high school life. A little slower. I don’t catch things as quick as I used to. More considerate–to the point where it’s sometimes socially paralyzing. I know my parents better. I don’t know my brother well anymore. I haven’t sung in a while. I haven’t written in a while. Nor have I read or drawn in a while. RO’ed today, yesterday, and the day before. Still enjoy lazing in bed long after the sun has risen. Still have the same best friends, with one or two additions since university. Still a geeky nerd on the sly–guilty pleasures of torrented anime, cheap manga, pirated PC games, fantastic exam results and photoshopping.

I don’t fall in love every other day anymore.

Haha.

Growing up is interesting, especially if one keeps a diary. :)