Mannequin

In reference to the song Mannequin by Katy Perry, sometimes I just wish boys (or even people–certain people) were like mannequins where you can pick them up, move their limbs… make them bend to your will & every whim & desire. (Un)fortunately, most boys are fairly willful and don’t acquiesce to requests that easily. Or hints.

I’m also sick of feeling this way. It’s getting to me and distracting me.

ALSO, A TON OF OTHER UNHAPPY THINGS HAVE BEEN HAPPENING IN MY LIFE. WHY ME AND WHY NOW? D:

WHY, when I have a summative around the corner?? WHYY???

Jade, the answer is: SO THAT YOU LEARN TO RELY ON GOD AND NOT MAN (or yourself) FOR THE STRENGTH TO PLOUGH THROUGH IT ALL, OKAY?

So SUCK IT UP and STICK TO IT.

Cue the ranting. And the need for many hugs.

I just really, really want to thank all of you who have been so nice to me of late, randomly hugging me and checking up on me. You know who you are, hehe. Every little gesture means a LOT to me at a time like this, and I honestly do appreciate it. Every hug, every pat on the head, every lame joke, every text message–blog comment–msn message, every random hello and goodbye, every smile… :) God has made you messengers of joy in my life, and I thank you for it!

I know a couple others also share my feelings and mood, and just want to encourage you guys to stick to the job (or whatever is happening) and keep your eyes on Heaven. :) God’s there for a reason, and you don’t have to rely on your own strength or you’ll just keep falling and falling deeper into the dark pit of depression (or stress). It’s at times like these that we need Him the most, and nobody else can lift our heads like He can.

Delve into the Psalms and be encouraged. I’ve been reading around Psalm 37 ~ 40 during my Bible readings (remember my resolution to finish reading the Bible? ^^), and a few verses here and there have really jumped out at me and spoken to me at this time. Maybe it’ll do the same for you. No, wait–it will. Believe in it. He is the ultimate comforter. :) He won’t leave His people harmless amidst the evildoings of their enemies.

CRUSHCRUSHCRUSH THE CVS & RESPI SUMMATIVEEEEE.

/dons wargear

In the end, all it took was for me to just come running back to You.

Pressed for Time

Hello to all my readers.

So many things happening, with so little time to take care of them.

The other matters on my mind & heart aren’t really helping either, but it’s alright.

It’s like I have to shutdown aspects of myself to deal with other things.

Talk about stretching my abilities!

Please pray for me…

p/s – I’m thinking of running for SRC Presidency, but that means I give up a lot of other responsibilities. Some of you know what I mean. Tell me what you think. :)

Cocoon

This social butterfly is reverting back to her cocoon stage-

With exactly 3 weeks–21 days, count ‘em all–left before her CVS & Respi summative;

not forgetting the MEDT 1/09 orientation that she’s involved in for 2 of those weeks,

With a grand total of 65 lecture notes to cover;

and the YA night event–The Knight, the Princess & the Broken Mirror,

With a critical appraisal to write;

as well as the Jason Mraz concert on the 4th of March,

With the respiratory system pathology quiz to prepare for;

oh, and don’t forget the rehearsals for SIBKL’s Easter program!

With a ridiculous Moral class to deal with on top of it all.

It’s going to be one crammed cocoon, reinforced with much prayer, worship & downtime with the Big Guy above. There will be much–if not total–cessation of activity, beginning today.

Concentration has returned, much thanks to a big wake-up call (and kick in the arse) from Him.

My wings are exhausted and overflown.

p/s – I still love you guys, even though I may not always respond to your texts, MSN messages, calls, or invites to go out. I’ll get back to you after the 13th of March (D-day).

A Beautiful Mess

It’s like Jason Mraz wrote this song just for me.

You’ve got the best of both worlds
You’re the kind of girl who can take down a man,
And lift him back up again
You are strong but you’re needy,
Humble but you’re greedy
Based on your body language,
your shoddy cursive I’ve been reading
Your style is quite selective,
though your mind is rather reckless
Well I guess it just suggests
that this is just what happiness is

Hey, what a beautiful mess this is
It’s like picking up trash in dresses

Well it kind of hurts when the kind of words you write
Kind of turn themselves into knives
And don’t mind my nerve you can call it fiction
‘Cause I like being submerged in your contradictions dear
‘Cause here we are, here we are

Although you were biased I love your advice
Your comebacks they’re quick
And probably have to do with your insecurities
There’s no shame in being crazy,
Depending on how you take these
Words that’re paraphrasing this relationship we’re staging

And it’s a beautiful mess, yes it is
It’s like, we’re picking up trash in dresses

Well it kind of hurts when the kind of words you say
Kind of turn themselves into blades
And the kind and courteous is a life I’ve heard
But it’s nice to say that we played in the dirt
Cause here, here we are, Here we are
Here we are…

We’re still here

And what a beautiful mess this is
It’s like taking a guess when the only answer is yes

And through timeless words in priceless pictures
We’ll fly like birds not of this earth
And tides they turn and hearts disfigure
But that’s no concern when we’re wounded together
And we tore our dresses and stained our shirts
But it’s nice today, oh the wait was so worth it.

Lesson of the day is not to speak your mind at 2 a.m. in the morning because you’re NOT ALERT ENOUGH TO REGULATE THE OUTFLOW.

SIBKL: Spice Up Your Life

I mentioned that I got to sing for Valentine’s day at my church’s dinner event. It was a really cute event, as most of the people there were around my parents’ ages.

Originally, Wallace, one of my church friends (and karaoke kaki) was supposed to sing with me for most of the love duets… Unfortunately, he was unable to make it due to work commitments and a packed schedule. :( So what happened? Daddy sang with meeeee. :))) And Ming did too, although he felt like a fish out of water, being a bandboy and having to dress up and sing my kind of music…

The band was random. Ish. I just thought of people and called them together to play for the night, yet it came together really well. Like amazingly! Not to mention the large amounts of prayer and fretting that went into pre-practice sessions & the picking of songs/sets.

And now, without further ado, the line-up for the night:

ltr: Dad, Twink, Rudy, Faye, me, Joel, Ming, Merlvyn & Felix (soundman)

Myself, vocalist.
Dad, as duettt partner.
Minghan, also as duet partner slash backup singer slash second vocalist.
Rudy Goh on keys (oh, you saw this one coming).
Merlvyn Kho on electric guitar.
Faye Lim on acoustic guitar.
Twink a.k.a. Matthias Liew, my brother, on bass guitar.
Joel Gan on drums.

We did songs like Dream a Little Dream, Moon River, What a Wonderful World, Stand By Me, L-O-V-E, Quando Quando Quando, Lucky, I’ll Be, Kiss Me, When You Tell Me That You Love Me, etc etc.

Honestly, my first time putting together such a thing–the whole dinner gig & suit-tie-dress shindig… It was a learning process. And I have to thank the band for bearing with my utter incompetence, slaving through (at times) directionless practices that tended to start late (uh oh), and my contorted facial expressions when I try to feel the song / SS. :))

At the end of the evening, I heard nothing but good comments about the band & our performance! ^^ Yayy. God is really honing the talent He gave me this year, and teaching me a lottt.

Alright, that’s it. I want more gigs! :)

…but maybe AFTER the cvs+respi summative in the middle of March. Time to study…

Happy Valentine’s Day!

:) As the title says.

I have no idea what the story behind this illustrious day is, and I’m not about to google it because it is 3.20am in the morning, and I just finished a Valentine’s gig about 3 hours ago. But yes. Have a good one.

If you’re single, FEAR NOT. Celebrating love doesn’t mean you need a significant other! Find other singles and rock it out together. :) If you’re attached, good for you! Don’t worry about having to be at the “it” place. Just find a lovely situation that suits you both, then settle into it for the evening.

I sang in a gig for Valentine’s day (on the night of the 13th) at my church, and had a lot of fun. :) I had an awesome team of musicians backing me, and couldn’t have done it without them & God really blessing us all & the talent He’s given us. Will blog more about it later.

In the meantime, grab your coat, keys, that pre-bought bouquet of roses, go out, and knock ‘em dead. ;D Happy Valentine’s, y’all.

…I almost typed “Jade out”. Uuuugggh.

Lolita’s Bad Day

:( I got into a minor accident today on the way to uni. My first official accident, freaked me out a little, but I’m okay now.

So… There were 3 cars. I was the last car, the middle car was the lady I hit, and the first car was this EXTREMELY SLOW DRIVING MAN IN A REALLY OLD-LOOKING CAR. Why does this matter? You’ll see.

We were driving along the OUG road from OUG plaza all the way to the bridge that crosses the Kesas Highway, and it was around 12.45 in the afternoon. The traffic lights in front were blinking green, and ALL OF A SUDDEN THE FIRST DUDE (who was already driving annoyingly slowly) STOPPED.

DDDDDD:

The lady jammed her brakes and stopped just in time, but unfortunately, I wasn’t so lucky and rear-ended her.

Thankfully, she was really nice about it and gave me her card, I gave her my number and details, etc. She had to go out of town, so could only get back in touch with me about the car stuff next week. Whew. She was reallly nice and understanding too, even commented on how the guy in front was really the cause of the accident…

She drove a BMW, so naturally, there was no visible damage, apart from one or two scratches on her bumper, but she said she’d send it in to check for the internal damage or whatnot. My poor Lolita though–for those of you who haven’t realized, my Peugeot’s name is “Lolita”–has a dent in her hood.

Loli's dented hood... :(

Oh well. Right now I’m waiting for dad to come home and see if we have to report it, or will just pay on our own.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Don’t drive annoyingly slow like you own the road–you will cause accidents even if you aren’t a part of them. -__- Slow drivers are my PET PEEVE, and today was a prime example of why.

CNY ’09 : Moo-ness, Money, Music & Mingling

Now that CNY is fully over, as promised, here is my massive catchup post about Chinese New Year and the wonderful times I’ve had so far. Unfortunately, the holidays are over, and it’s back to CVS and reality…

I’m having problems with posting pictures in wordpress, so there will be none here…

This year was more relaxed than the last, but we visited a lot of houses! A typical CNY for me would have the first three days filled up with visiting relatives (and collecting the redly-packaged blessings, hehe).

First day saw me decked out in a white cheongsam with blue trimmings–it’s actually one of mum’s new cheongsams, but she let me have it. Thanks mum! Second day, I wore my mum’s dress (the same one she wore to the marriage registry yeaaaaars ago). Third day was a new beachy dress I picked up from Monizal, a boutique in Amcorp Mall. It’s awesome being the same size and height as your mum, haha.

I made it a point to take as many pictures of the festivities and fellowship at the different houses this year, because when I looked back at last year’s CNY pics, they were few and far in between. No vibrancy, no energy, no stories hidden within them. SO this year, I have many many more candids, and I rallied more family to take photos together. :) We also visited my mum’s side of the extended family tree for the first time–my maternal grandfather’s sister-in-law, who lives in Kundang, which is on the way to Rawang. I discovered a bunch more cousins I’d never met before in my life…

Besides that, my elder cousins on my dad’s side saw it fit to begin passing down the skills of chor dai di (big two). Haha! Kong Jin & Kong Qian taught my younger cousin, Kok Weng, how to play. :P And there was another cute kid that was the son of one of the other relatives who came to play… His dad also was coaching him. Dai tao har la, all these people! But it was all in good fun. Kong Qian kept bringing up the notion of playing with money, but it didn’t happen. Awwww.

Once again, it was food overload. One of the dangers of CNY is that if you don’t regulate your snacking at every house you visit, you’re bound to gain a lot of unwanted physical bonuses by the end of the celebrations. Cellulite anyone? x__x Economic recession my FOOT, because we were still fed extremely well at each house we visited! There was abundant yee sang, pineapple tarts, cookies, har pang, nga ku, steamboat, mandarin oranges, vegetarian dishes, noodles, ice cream, savoury treats… Whoo. I had to restrain myself from over-eating, even though ALL the foods that pop up during CNY are among my favorites.

Ang pau earnings were a larger haul than before. :) Hooray for being unmarried & Chinese! Let me ask you this, though. ;) What does a girl do with all the extra pocketmoney she received?

Give up? :)))

Well… Click to read more.

Banish the Clouds, Brighten the Day

When they tell say to save up for rainy days, they really aren’t pulling your leg. Quite the storm hit my area yesterday evening, and smoothly translated into a storm within my heart as well.

Am I overthinking? Perhaps. Is it difficult being the eldest? No, not in this case, because I’m prepared for it. If I am born eldest, I will step up and fill that role, not run and hide from my responsibilities.

“Every ambition is nipped in the bud, every desire of life quenched, every outlook completely extinguished and blotted out, saving one thing only–separated unto the Gospel.” – Oswald Chambers.

For far too long, I’ve allowed my desires to sweep me off my feet, and let my mind settle into a stagnant reverie which is slowly twisting its dark, sharp roots into my heart. The tree I imagined to be growing WAS beautiful, but now I see it does nothing but choke my breaths and blind my horizon.

Let me find my strength, Lord, in Your joy when I give you due obedience. Reorder my steps, and let me once again use Your Word as a light unto my path, for the rest of my days. I am human, with all my weaknesses and failings, and I’ve forgotten that for far too long. :( Teach me to run to You before I run to any other.

I can’t say exactly what brought this state of mind on, for privacy’s sake. I’m a heavy sleeper; it’s my long-due wake-up call.

I’m giving it up, again and again, until I learn to lose myself in You. These things are meant to try me, and allow me to refocus, remember, and restore myself by Your grace.

BRING IT ON. Don’t try and pull a fast one on me, world, with all your notions of tingling spines, heated nights, and caught breaths. >( I will stand in my Lord’s courts and deal with YOU, OKAY!?

Rain falls, heart soaks–then soul weighed down–
Another rainbow pinned to the ground;
Come wring it out, and let it dry
Then let it soar high in Your sky.

A little rain soon dries up without a trace.

Happy CNY again, everyone! Hope you’re enjoying it. I know I’ve been a bad blogger and not updated for a looong time, but I have special reasons. ;)

This is not an update yet, but just a minor rant about a certain person.

Some people–excuse the language–have their head shoved too far up their arse. I have once such person in my life, but I’ve removed myself from his ominous presence.

I DON’T lick feet, and certainly wouldn’t bring myself to lick his no matter what opportunities were presented my way, if I can even call them opportunities at all. Kittens go for blood when aggravated, alright?

I really can’t understand how some people can be this nasty, yet so obliging when they need something from you.

It’s time for you to return my voice so I can sing to the One I truly love.