[ r i n . a i j y o ] – flavor of life, love, and all that you dream of

Dear EOS2,

You and I have had this strange relationship for slightly over two weeks now, and now I think it’s time for us to get it out in the open.

Before I met you, I heard countless stories about you. About how challenging you were, how fast you were, how confusing you were… Needless to say, I was both intrigued and distressed at the thought of meeting you. You made me nervous–I had never heard of anyone like you in my whole life! Some people recalled you with an odd fondness. Some couldn’t remember you at all. Some, at the very mention of your name, pulled a face filled with the sour memories they never wanted to revisit.

I spent those two weeks prior to our meeting getting ready, just for you.

It might sound a little obsessive, but I read, studied and remembered everything I could find out about you, so I wouldn’t fail to come up with the right answers to your questions. I felt I needed to impress you. I forced myself to love you, so I wouldn’t be repulsed by you when we met. I kept away from all my friends and shut myself in. Day and night, my thoughts were filled with only you. See those dark rings under my eyes? All the sleep I lost–for you.

The date finally came.

9 a.m., and the sun was shining. I arrived at our meeting place, only having stolen four miserable hours of caffeine-riddled sleep the night before. At first glance, I was intimidated. You were cold, clinical, and calculating. Fragments of hearsay about you fluttered across my panicking mind, but I kept myself focused, and we talked. Soon, you warmed up to me. Flirted. Set me at ease. It wasn’t so bad after all, and I left you with a smile. We’d meet again, after lunch, because you were busy. I was eager and excited.

After lunch, you showed me some of your legendary unforgiving streak, cruelly asking me questions I did not know the answers to. And for the ones that I did know, you didn’t acknowledge. Whatever happened to the warmth I had seen earlier? That light playfulness? Was it all an illusion? What did you really want from me? Confusion filled my mind, and I left you, heart heavy and mind troubled.

That night wasn’t any easier. I didn’t know what to expect any more. Flipping through the notes and anecdotes I had acquired and made about you, I looked at everything I could–haphazardly–before we were to meet again the next morning. I didn’t feel ready, or sure of myself, anymore. I fell into another brief, dreamless sleep before being rudely awakened by the strains of DJ MAKAI thumping from my alarm.

Our last meeting helped me decide. The sleep must have refreshed me, for when I saw you, I was no longer afraid. If I couldn’t answer your questions, what did it matter? I knew what I knew, and I was secure in that knowledge that I had. Instead, you were haphazard, jumping all over the place like a buzzer on a game show. You were confused, speaking quickly, and telling me all sorts of things. Yet I could remain calm, and I knew what to do, and how to do it.

Dear EOS, I’m writing to tell you that we’re through. You and your mind games have no more hold over me. All the anticipation, the confusion, the emotional turmoil I went through–I don’t need any of it. You might have appeared loveable, but I see the beast that you are, and I ain’t having any of it. Those two weeks and these three meeting were enough. I thought I could love you, but you erased any chance of that happening.

I’ve got my life back.

So baby, we’re through.

Love (not really), Jade xx

p/s – Maybe I’ll like your brother, EOS3, better than you.

—————————–

…………

EOS IS FREAKIN’ OVER!

PARTY TIME!

I want to thank God for pulling me through this huge exam, my parents for being so loving though I was a terrible grouch, my friends for putting up with my antisocial hermiting, and my brain, for not failing on me at any time.