Daydreams only last so long.

Emo day.

I’ve been in a strange mood lately. I’m not entirely sure if it’s due to my obsessive RO-ing, or thoughts that are creeping in from my memories. The feelings that accompany this mood aren’t the greatest to have, but sometimes, one just wants to be in a neutral, peaceful, dulled state of mind.

What’s aggravating is the fact that I haven’t been able to tidy my room (or summon up the willpower to do so) ever since summative was over. It was in a horrendous state a few weeks before, and that state hasn’t really changed. In fact, it’s worsened.

I don’t know what I’m thinking about anymore. It’s beyond my grasp, indescribable, and plain airy.

Kind of an emptiness.

…..

HAMMY & PUUUUUPPY! GET BACK HERE NOW! D:

——————–

I’ve figured out what’s missing. ;) I’ll be okay.

525 600 minutes.

Exactly how long it was since I officially left Canada. It was around this time, last year, that I came home for the summer and ended up staying for good (sort of).

Last year, I came home with traces of sadness, but knowing we would meet again made it better.

That knowledge was dissolved, burnt away, and hidden about two months later.

We said our goodbyes, and tried to make it last–

Nothing lasts forever; our forever was short but sweet.

It’s been awhile, but the feelings still linger.

Definitely difficult.

—————-

Summative is on Friday, and all I have running through my head is your voice, telling me about your day and how much you’ve missed me. And that if we were ever in the same country again, you’d probably want me back.

“Kiss me goodbye– love’s memory,
Follow your heart and find your destiny;
Don’t shed a tear for love’s mortality–
You put the dream in my reality.”

– “Kiss Me Goodbye” by Angela Aki, for FFXII

Drumroll.

It’s coming.

I only got one week left.

Then,

BLISS. JOY. FREEEEEEDOM.

For a little while, then a day of COP & writing the report.

Study hard, my friends! Let us conquer our first exam victoriously!

———————————-

Sze Yin & I counted something today, teehee. Our batch is faaaast. <3

I’m telling myself to wait, but my heart says another thing.

———————————-

Something’s on my mind: What does a kiss on the hand from the opposite sex mean to you, ladies? Would you let anyone do it? Is it a sign or affection, adoration, or nothing at all?

As for me, I thought it wouldn’t affect me. But when someone kissed my hand during a song choreography at practice tonight, I felt disturbed. I just didn’t like it. It suddenly dawned upon me I didn’t want anyone but the man I love kissing my hand–whether he does it or not is another thing. =/ It felt private, personal, and off-limits. Maybe it’s because I don’t feel friendly towards this person just yet, because another person gives me weird vibes as well.

“…jing hai jou hei.” – It’s just play-acting. A fakery. But I don’t want to.

BACK TO INTEGRATED METABOLISM & BIOCHEMISTRY.

Good night.

Meme #6 – For the “mature” ones

Plucked from a friend’s facebook note.

1. What bill do you hate paying the most?
Nothing right now. But anytime I have to pay for something… =(

2. Where was the last place you had a romantic dinner?
Michael’s basement, last August.

3. Last time you puked from drinking?
Never have.

4. When is the last time you got drunk and danced on a bar?
Never have, either.

5. Name of your first grade teacher?
Pn. Habsa Baba

6. What do you really want to be doing right now?
On holiday in Paris/Hokkaido.

7. What did you want to be when you were growing up?
A doctor & a singer.

8. How many colleges did you attend?
One, I guess. It was a university college, and now I’m in uni.

9. Why did you choose the shirt that you have on right now?
I didn’t, lol. I had to buy it for the IMU orientation.
10. GAS PRICES?
Just increased. =/

11. If you could move anywhere and take someone with you?
I’d move to Japan (or some lovely, fun country) & take Michael with me.

12. First thought when the alarm went off this morning?
“Are you serious?”

13. Last thought before going to sleep last night?
“Should I skip lecture tomorrow? Hmmm….”

14. Favorite style of underwear?
I dunno, normal panties? Boyshorts are really comfy, though.

15. Favorite style of underwear for the opposite sex?
Boxers. All the way! ;D (Happier sperm, gentlemen!)

16. What errand/chore do you despise?
Mopping/sweeping the floor, or washing the bathroom.

17. If you didn’t have to work, would you volunteer?
Yes! In my case, if I didn’t have to study so much.

18. Get up early or sleep in?
Definitely sleep in, unless there’s someone to wake up to and cuddle with in the gentle morning light.

19. What is your favorite cartoon character?
I’ll include anime:

20. Favorite NON sexual thing to do at night with a girl/guy?
With a guy. Fall asleep together, platonically.

21. Have you found real love yet?
Definitely.

22. When did you first start feeling old?
This old, when a cuuute unsuspecting kid addressed me as “Aunty”.

23. Favorite 80’s movie?
Uhh, does Jim Henson’s The Labyrinth count?

24. Your favorite lunch meat?
Honey-glazed ham.

25. What do you get every time you go into Walmart?
Hahaha SOUR GUMMIES! Those plastic tins of them… Mmmm, so good.

26. Beach or lake?
Oh, definitely the beach. Clear, shallow waters with loads of fishies, the sand, the balmy breeze…

27. Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual?
NO. =( It is not a ritual!! It’s so much more.

28. How many people do you stalk on Facebook?
That’s a seeeeecreeeeet.

29. Favorite guilty pleasure?
…Korean/Japanese love dramas. My dose of fairytale romance.

30. Favorite movie you wouldn’t want anyone to find out about?
Well, it wouldn’t be a secret favourite movie if I wrote it here, now would it?

31. What’s your drink?
Nonalcoholic: Vietnamese mint spritzer!

32. Cowboys or Indians?
Lol, COWBOYS. ;)

33. Cops or Robbers?
Robbers. But more along the lines of classy mafia-men.

34. Who from high school would you like to run into?
Wow… EVERYONE PLZ. I miss all of you like crazy!!! Just watched the grad video last night.. again.

35. What radio station is your car radio tuned to right now?
None, really. I play my own CDs.

36. Norm or Cliff?
Whaat?

37. The Cosby Show or the Simpsons?
Neither.

38. Worst relationship mistake that you wish you could take back?
Definitely have some… Won’t spell them out. Don’t kiss and tell.

39. Do you like the person who sits directly across from you at work?
Don’t have anyone there.

40. If you could get away with it, who would you kill?
Nobody.

41. What famous person(s) would you like to have dinner with?
Michael Buble. <3 He would be cuuuuute.

42. What famous person would you like to sleep with?
I don’t know about the sex part (unless he marries me hahahaha), but BEN BARNES!!! (yes Jo, despite our discussion)

43. Have you ever had to use a fire extinguisher for its intended purpose?
Nope.

44. Last book you read for real?
Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers.

45. Do you have a teddy bear?
Too many…

46. Strangest place you have ever brushed your teeth?
Heheheh. A man-made river pooling on some obscure island near Pulau Pangkor.
47. Somewhere in Canada you’ve never been and would like to go?
Ooh, to Halifax. The “fishing town” and accents attract me.

48. Do you go to church?
Yep.

49. At this point in your life would you rather start a new career or a new relationship?
I like the career I’m headed to, really. As for a new relationship… I don’t know. We’ll see. If the right guy comes along, and I feel that nudge from God. I’m happy as I am, right now.
50. Just how OLD are you?
Vingt ans. Ni-juu sai.

“A Grand Night for Singing” LAUNCHED!

:DDD Yayyy it’s over! The official press conference and launch of the production–I sang, and Geoffrey Woo sang too. It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be, although I was extremely nervous throughout. A big thank you to everyone who came to support me & the show, since you had to come all the way to Times Square from your other engagements! Mummy was there too. <3

Today (or rather, yesterday, since I’m blogging after midnight) was the OFFICIAL LAUNCH of the broadway musical medley I’m part of, called A Grand Night for Singing! Performance details can be found on the website: www.thecanticlesingers.com. The show will be at Istana Budaya, Kuala Lumpur and run from the 16th of July until the 20th of July 2008. There are 7 shows: 5 evening performances, and 2 matinées. Get your tickets FAST because the show is already about half-sold out (and tickets officially went on sale today)! See website for more details.

As for my studying progress, it’s trundling along. Summative on the 20th of June. I took on another singing engagement on the 17th. Mum looked at me when I told her, then smirked and told me she knew I was a workaholic. Dum dee dumm~

Jo Ann and I had a fascinating discussion yesterday about the location of a certain organ belonging to the opposite sex. :))))) BEN BARNES HAHAHAHAHAHAAA.

And because she tagged me:

10 Years Ago, I…
1. Switched primary schools.
2. Scored an A for my Chinese POL class!
3. Met my two best friends (who are the same today ^^ )
4. Was ten years old, hahaha.
5. Had my first crush. (it had to be said! :) )

5 Years Ago, I…
1. Was head prefect.
2. Dated someone 9 years older than me
3. Sat for my PMR
4. Was really obnoxious.
5. Was madly in love with Squall of FF8 fame.

3 Years Ago, I…
1. Was already in Canada!
2. (also) Fell in love
3. Acquired a mild accent
4. Began to repair my relationship with my mummy. <3
5. Was the token azn amongst my whitey friends.

A Year Ago, I…
1. Came home from Canada.
2. Got a calling to do medicine, in IMU
3. Learned a whole lot about God
4. Met the most amazing friends ever (JP!!! ERIN!!! DAISY MONIKA RYAN SAM CHERYL LENNY SARA JESS!!!!)
5. Went for my first school (college) dance

So Far This Year, I…
1. Am also in IMU
2. Have realized, for the first (geeky) time in my life, that the library is fun
3. Have expanded my vocabulary in a thousand nerdy ways. Try me. >(
4. Am overtired but loving it.
5. Have been siiiiiinging my little heart out.

Yesterday, I….
1. Studied a LOT and was super-productive.
2. Had “dai-chao” with Jon, Josh & Jo Ann (QUADRUPLE Js!! omg I just noticed)
3. Was amused at the masses of people filling up gas before prices increased.
4. Thought of you
5. Noticed the deepening dark rings around my eyes…

Today, I ….
1. Enjoyed embryology. <33
2. Had my press conference!
3. Went to the dentist.
4. Studied.
5. Aaaaand went for TCS rehearsal.

Tomorrow I will…
1. Study with Jo Ann, Jon, and “Steven” the penguin, whose name is really Pingu
2. Starve myself (too much good food –> extra fat & carbs –> BIG ADIPOSE CELLS –> Sad Jade)
3. Attempt to write my AIR topic
4. Catch up on my devotions
5. Enjoy myself thoroughly in all that I do. <3

I tag Rae, Joe, Kilmasis, Dea, and Dustin.

Latte Panic.

It’s happening this Thursday. It’s finally here. I don’t know if I’m happy or sad, but I’m definitely panicking. Dear God, I really need Your help here. I’m exhausted. I’m worn out. I’m pressed for time on all sides. I cannot rely on my own strength. AUUUGGGHH. I have a ton of things to get done which I cannot postpone until after my summative (exam).

But amidst all this inner turmoil and frustration, something happened today to really strengthen my belief in the “angels” God has surrounded us with. Today’s angel was a certain guitarist from SIB~~~ :) If you read this, you don’t need to know how you helped, but you did. You made me smile again when I was down, and reminded me to be on guard against the Accuser, and instead, focus on the blessings in my life. People can do/say what they want, but I will remain STEADFAST in You, Lord.

Ashamedly, I lost control of myself whilst wallowing in self-pity and being grumpy about having no space to myself. HECK, do you think the Myanmar refugees have private space alone? Or even the Sichuan earthquake victims & families affected, who just exist in a struggle to get back to normal life.

I should find my rest in God alone, not in new-age meditational “beats” and the sound of trickling water.

My peace is found in Christ alone, and my “alone” time should become “Jesus time.” :)

And now that I’m sufficiently calm, I’m going to apologize to someone.